


Muddled

by rummyjoe



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, drunken babbling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 12:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2229327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rummyjoe/pseuds/rummyjoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short ficlet of tipsy Felicity babbling inappropriately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Muddled

Felicity hadn't intended to drink so much, but it hadn't really felt like that much at the time. Once she got up and started moving around, though, it had hit her pretty hard. She let her friends get into their cabs, then sneaked back into Verdant and headed downstairs to sober up before heading home. She slowly and methodically made her way down the stairs, one hand carrying her shoes, the other holding fast to the guide rail.

Roy and Oliver were sparring, barely glancing her way as she made her way to the computers. She flopped into her chair, then cursed herself for not realizing she had to pee until after she sat down. Now she'd have to get back up, and she didn't have the energy for that. Or the coordination. She'd have to walk all the way across the room again, then get situated in the bathroom, pee and do the whole wiping thing while holding up her skirt and not accidentally dropping it into the toilet, then not fall over when she stood back up, and she didn't have a very successful track record of doing all of that when she'd had so much rum. Stupid blueberry mojitos, being all tasty and making her have to pee.

"Life would be so much simpler if I had a penis!"

Everything went silent in the training area, and Felicity worried that one or the other had gotten hurt. She quickly turned in her chair, letting out a little "whee" as her head continued spinning after the chair stopped. She finally was able to get her eyes to focus on Roy and Oliver and found them both staring at her from their spot on the mat. Then her muddled brain caught up with what she'd said.

Aloud.

Very loudly, in fact.

"Oh! No! For peeing! Not for..." She waved her hand around in the air. "Not that I haven't wondered about that. Pretty sure most women have wondered about it, what it would feel like to just go right in and do it. Be the Filler, instead of The Filled. Not that being filled is bad. I mean, it can be pretty great. Finding your g spot is awesome. Oh, and multiple orgasms! Not that every woman can have those, but I can!" she pumped her fist triumphantly. "I guess guys can have them, too? But I think I read that they have to, like, train for it? But not me! Like a box of firecrackers going off!" She started snapping her fingers, flinging her hands around in the air. She slowed the rhythm, bobbing her head and humming something off key, then stopped abruptly. "Wait, what was I talking about?"

Oliver and Roy were still frozen in place, dumbfounded. The silence stretched into long seconds, then they both started talking at once.

"Peeing! You said you--"  
"You need to--"  
"--have to pee!"  
"--go to the bathroom!"

A confused wrinkle appeared on Felicity's brow. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head at them before hoisting herself up out of her chair and stumbling toward the bathroom.

"You guys are weird."


End file.
